Yes I could definitely start this by saying Men ARE TRASH! But (although I kinda am) I’m not going to do that. Instead, this is going to be my story of self-empowerment for the month. A moment of evolution where I was reminded that I am more than everything I need to be, and that God’s always got my back.
About six months ago, I met a dude that met like 8/10 of my future husband list goals. He was tall dark, handsome, smart… matter of fact, all of the men that I’ve been attracting lately really meet a lot of my standards. Looking deeper, I highly believe that this is due to the energy I’m putting out. I use my spirit to attract others like a strong magnet. So if I want happy, ambitious, and supportive people in my life I project that same energy. You know, the Law of Attraction. Anyways, back to the story. It turned out that this guy that painted himself as my dream man was not for me. And neither were the other two after him. Long story short, while I shouldn’t have been giving these guys the time of day, when they popped back up (as they always do) I answered their calls. On different occasions, around 2 weeks apart from each other, the 3 guys asked me out on dates. You’ll come to learn that my answer to food is always yes 🙂 so I agreed to the dates. When the date nights arrived, all 3 guys went ghost on me. Didn’t call me, didn’t say anything after the fact. They all acted as if they never planned to go out with me.
What I’m learning is that right now I’m in a testing phase in life when it comes to men. The season right before this was all about learning. So God was sending me guys that were put into my life to teach me major life lessons. During those periods, it was up to me to grasp and overstand those lessons. For if I did not, they would come back to me in a cycle, causing me to feel the lesson again. Now, as I live in overstanding I can confidently hold my crown high because I know that these dudes stood me up because they’re not ready for me. They don’t have the ability to protect me, neither do they don’t have a strong vision for me to support. The reason why they stood me up is because they knew they’d never be worthy enough to stand beside me. They stood me up so that I can stand up and look in the mirror, to be reminded of that I am a Queen. A Queen that needs to pay attention to her standards, and who she allows in her space.
I also strongly believe that God sent these men messages saying that I should be avoided. That I shouldn’t be messed with, because there would be a great cost for their ill intentions towards me. I wonder what that sign looked like? What did God tell them about me? What do you want God to say about you? What are you saying to yourself about you? Take a moment to think about it. Do your actions reflect the images you want to see of yourself?
One thing that’s for sure, the action of these men have nothing to do with me! I didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing I could’ve said, and my beauty is undeniable. Say this out loud: I WILL NEVER LET A MAN TRICK ME INTO THINKING THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!
I’m sure we can all agree that as an ambitious woman, dating is difficult, to say the least. A lot of guys feel that we’re too smart, know too much, doing too much, and whatever else their problem is. What I do know is that I will never be “too much” for someone out there, and until he finds me and sweeps me off my feet I just need to focus on doing me! So, let’s end this post by doing a little reflecting. The next time you’re in a dating jam, assess these questions:
- What are the positives and learning points?
- What can I do to refocus my energy?
- Where can I find peace while alone? (think environment)
- By listening to my heart, I know that I need to … (eg. take a bath, light a candle, write in my journal)
- What are some strengths I want to bring into my next relationship?
- Do I already have these strengths? How can I get them?
- What do I want in a partner?
3. I find peace in my bedroom, with the natural light coming through my window. I always light a candle or an incense, and play some jazz or soul music. This is the space I set when I feel I need some time to think, heal, or just breathe.
4. I want to be a great communicator even when the conversation feels uncomfortable.
What are some things that work for you? Share your answers in the comments below.